Aw, my head hurts.

I really want to write something positive about this movie but, it just won’t let me.

Um, let’s see here, uh… oh, right, the editing. The thing that stands out the most about this movie is its editing. It’s actually quite creative. We don’t get that a lot in this part of the world. Much of the humour works because of the editing. It reminded me of Edgar Wright films.

There isn’t much of a story here despite the fact that it’s really plot heavy. In fact, the plot of the movie seems like something right out of an early Guy Ritchie movie. No, no, it’s not a rip-off (as far as I know).

It’s about a bunch of different groups of eccentric, weird, crazy people running around a small village in search of one or two McGuffins, all in the span of a day or so. There’s a lot of swearing, a lot of crude humour and, a lot seemingly pointless (but actually relevant) digressions from the main plot. There are gangsters, thugs, small-time crooks and, crazy police officers. The protagonists are blissfully unaware of the larger schemes unfolding all around them and just sort of stumble into the climax. Tell me that doesn’t sound like an early Guy Ritchie movie.

This is not a criticism (I’ll get to that). Early Guy Ritchie movies are awesome and, the similarities are mostly superficial and probably coincidental. In fact, Midhun Manuel Thomas, the director, is likely drawing from completely different sources but, this is the best way to describe the end result.

This movie is kind of like a roller coaster ride. But, there’s a reason why roller coaster rides are short. You won’t have a lot of fun if it just keeps on going. This movie just keeps on going and going and going and going. Oh my god, it just keeps going.

It. Does. Not. Stop.

Why is this two and a half hour long? Every good joke is run into the ground, stomped on and then buried in concrete for good measure. Does that seem too harsh? Well take this for example. Every character in the movie has a theme song accompanying him whenever he (there are no women in this movie) enters a scene. This is funny the first time but, the movie keeps doing this again and again for each character for each scene. Ah yes, that’s a nested loop of irritating jokes. Fun.

And that’s not getting into the slow motion scenes. There’re enough of them to make Zack Snyder sit back and go, “Whoa there! Speed up a bit.”

The first hour of the movie was actually a lot of fun. I really thought this would turn out to be a pretty solid comedy that got a lot mileage out of its creative editing. It starts slipping towards the end of the first half and, goes completely off the rails in the second.

The worst thing a movie can be is not bad, it’s boring. And that would’ve been what I thought of the movie had it not been for this one last thing.

There are only four women in the movie with speaking roles. Three of them get one short scene each and the fourth one gets three short scenes. This character (played by one of the producers as I later found out, huh) is an animal rights activist – an annoying, vicious, dumb, obnoxious one, but they’re clearly trying to satirize someone and, there’s nothing wrong with that. But then, at the very end of the movie she’s bitten by her own rabid dog and gets infected thereby, saving the protagonists from their court date. This is supposed to be funny.

It is not. It’s just mean.

The movie’s too long, there’s no character arc, the jokes starve and die, the movie’s too long, characters keep popping up out of nowhere and, did I mention the movie’s too long?

Aw, my head hurts.

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